“Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” – Matthew 6:33
From Fearful to Faith-Filled
Let’s talk real life for a moment. Dating again after divorce is not for the faint of heart. Especially if your heart has already walked through fire, betrayal, or years of silent disappointment. After what I went through, I wasn’t just guarding my heart. I had it wrapped in duct tape, bubble wrap, and surrounded by barbed-wire scriptures.
When I finally left my marriage, I was not even thinking about love again. I was focused on surviving—emotionally, spiritually, and financially. I had to be a strong mom for Madison. I had to heal. I had to find myself again. Most importantly, I had to rediscover the God who saw me in my brokenness and still called me beloved.
It took years of restoration before I could even consider the idea of dating again. When I finally did, I was not looking for someone charming. I was looking for someone called. I didn’t want chemistry without Christ, or charm without character. What I longed for was peace. Purpose. The kind of presence that only shows up when God writes the love story.
If you are healing, waiting, or wondering how you will ever know if it is real this time, I want to encourage you. These are seven signs I personally lived through, prayed through, and now get to testify about. God is still in the business of holy matchmaking.
1. God Is First—Not a Footnote
A man who keeps God at the center does not just use His name occasionally. He builds his life around Him. A man of God does not simply attend church. He lives in communion with the Lord. When you are in a God-centered relationship, you will feel the difference. There is a distinct contrast between someone who knows about God and someone who truly walks with Him.
Before I met Steven, I had conversations with men who sounded spiritual but lacked substance. I quickly learned that quoting a Bible verse does not mean someone is spiritually mature. Talk is cheap, but fruit is costly.
Steven was different. I saw his walk. He wasn’t perfect, but he was consistent. He honoured God with his decisions, and he respected my personal walk as well. We didn’t just talk about God; we invited Him into the conversation.
Ask yourself: Is this person building a life with God already, or are you expected to build it for both of you?
2. There Is Peace, Not Pressure
Peace is the language of the Holy Spirit. If something feels rushed, pressured, confusing, or constantly exhausting, that is not the Lord. That is a red flag disguised as romance.
When I met Steven, there was a peace that covered the entire connection. I was nervous, yes, but not anxious. The connection didn’t require striving. There were no emotional games or spiritual manipulation. Just a slow, steady unfolding.
After surviving a toxic relationship dynamic, my system didn’t even know how to respond to that kind of stability at first. Deep down, I realized something was different. I did not have to perform for this love. I could rest in it.
Practical step: Pay attention to your peace. Peace does not mean perfection, but it does mean alignment. If you are constantly second-guessing where you stand, it is time to re-evaluate who you are standing next to.
3. Prayer Isn’t Awkward—It’s the Anchor
Anyone can flirt. Anyone can send a verse of the day. The question is, can they stand in prayer when the storms hit? Prayer is not a bonus in a God-centered relationship. It is the foundation.
One of the early signs that Steven was different was when he prayed with me. We were not married. We were not even seriously dating. Yet, he was comfortable going to God with me in prayer. There was no awkwardness. Just sincerity and covering. It was natural. It was Spirit-led. It was safe.
That prayer shifted something in me. I realized this was not someone who just talked about faith—he lived it. He carried a heart posture that was sensitive to God.
Try this: Begin praying together early in the relationship. Prayer will expose spiritual maturity or reveal immaturity. Either way, it brings clarity.
4. They Honour Your Past, but Champion Your Future
After a divorce, it is easy to believe the lie that your past disqualifies you. You may feel like you are too complicated, too broken, or simply too much. When you add in single motherhood, ministry, and healing from trauma, it can feel overwhelming.
A God-sent partner will not see your past as baggage. They will see it as part of your testimony.
Steven never flinched when I told him about Madison. He didn’t retreat when I shared my dreams, my story, or my healing journey. He honoured all of it. He never made me feel like I had to hide my scars to be loved. In fact, he embraced them. He loved Madison as his own and became a constant in her life.
That kind of love does not come from a dating app. It comes from God.
Discern this: If someone is intimidated by your calling or impatient with your healing process, they are not your person. The right person will not diminish the very things God is using to shape you.
5. You Don’t Have to Compromise to Keep Them
When I finally opened my heart again, I had boundaries. Emotional, physical, and spiritual. I had been through enough trauma to know that I wasn’t willing to sacrifice my peace or purity just to feel wanted.
A real man of God will not test your boundaries. He will protect them.
Steven never made me feel like I was too “spiritual” or “hard to get.” He respected my decisions and understood the value of walking with honour. He did not try to persuade or manipulate. He simply stood with me.
That kind of integrity is rare, but it is possible.
Declare this over yourself: You do not have to compromise your values to be loved. You are worth honouring. The person God sends will see that and act accordingly.
6. They Speak Life Over You, Not Labels
If you have been through betrayal, gaslighting, or emotional abuse, then you know how easy it is to internalize lies. Lies that say you are too much, not enough, or permanently broken.
A partner from God will not reinforce those lies. They will speak life over you.
Steven didn’t just affirm me. He spoke prophetically. He reminded me of the fire I carried, even when I forgot it myself. He called out the joy in me that had been buried. He recognized the calling on my life and never tried to silence it. He helped me remember who I was—beloved, chosen, whole.
Look for this: Words matter. The right person will not use words as weapons. They will speak life, peace, and purpose over your identity.
7. Your Relationship Bears Fruit, Not Just Feelings
Chemistry is exciting, but chemistry without character leads to confusion. Feelings are fleeting, but fruit is evidence. When God is at the center, the relationship will bear good fruit.
The Bible says, “You will know them by their fruits.” (Matthew 7:16)
Since being with Steven, I have seen more peace, more clarity, and more fruit in every area. Our marriage has become ministry. Our home is a place of joy. Madison has flourished under Steven’s love. People have been impacted by our testimony. God has used our story to bring healing to others.
That is not hype. That is fruit.
Take inventory: Ask yourself what this relationship is producing. If it is consistently bearing confusion, anxiety, or spiritual stagnation, it may be time to step back and seek God for clarity.
Love Checkpoints
Here are a few truths I want you to hold on to:
- You do not have to chase what is from God. It will come without confusion.
- God’s love does not manipulate or rush. It strengthens and affirms.
- A godly partner will not shrink your calling. They will walk beside it with honour.
A Final Word from My Heart
If you are still healing from a past relationship, I want to remind you that God sees you. Not as broken. Not as too late. He sees you as beloved, chosen, and worthy of a love that reflects His heart.
Do not settle for surface-level connection when God has something deeper and more eternal in mind. Do not mistake attention for intention. Do not confuse being pursued with being protected.
You do not have to earn a place in someone’s life when you already have a place in God’s heart.
The kind of love that comes from Him will not cause you to question your worth. It will confirm it.
Your Boaz is not intimidated by your past. He is anointed to walk with you into your future. Stay in position. Keep your heart open to God’s leading. Trust that He has not forgotten your story.
If He did it for me, He can do it for you.