TRUSTING GOD THROUGH DIVORCE AND STARTING OVER
There are moments in life when the ground beneath your feet gives way, and everything you thought was solid suddenly feels like sinking sand. For me, that moment came wrapped in years of silent suffering, buried secrets, emotional exhaustion, and enough heartbreak to flatten a grown woman. Divorce is never a word we want in our story — especially women like me who grew up believing you stay, pray, fast, worship, and work your way through anything. But sometimes life takes you on a journey where starting over isn’t rebellion… it’s resurrection.
Friend, today I want to talk to the woman who feels broken, ashamed, exhausted, or stuck.
The one who’s trying to breathe through the pain of betrayal.
The one who’s wondering, “Will I ever feel like me again?”
This blog is for you.
Because I’ve lived it.
And God walked me through every impossible step.
1. The Weight No One Saw: Living in Silence
No one prepares you for the kind of heartbreak that doesn’t leave bruises on your skin — it leaves them on your spirit.
For over twenty years I lived in a marriage where pornography addiction was a constant shadow. I held the weight of secrets I didn’t create. I carried guilt I didn’t deserve. I prayed prayers that turned into groanings. I stayed silent because I believed silence was holiness. And unfortunately, in the silence, my body started paying the price.
I developed cancer shortly after my 40th birthday — right in the middle of the busiest, happiest, most flourishing season of my tearoom business. I poured tea for others while my soul was running on fumes. I put on fascinators and sparkles while my heart barely made it through the day. I thought I was just exhausted… but now I see it clearly:
Toxic environments produce toxic results.
Emotionally.
Spiritually.
Physically.
But God, in His mercy, began whispering to my heart:
“Daughter, you were created for more than this.”
Isaiah 43:19 says:
“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?”
During that season, I didn’t perceive anything. But looking back — God was planting the seeds for a new beginning long before I even imagined leaving.
2. The Morning After Mother’s Day
People always want to know: When did you finally leave?
It wasn’t a dramatic moment.
It wasn’t an explosion or a fight.
It was simply the truth.
Madison’s jump drive changed everything.
Years after my cancer diagnosis, when life had finally settled, God exposed what had been hidden. Once I saw the videos, the truth I had felt in my spirit for years stared me in the face.
That night, I knew.
The next morning — the day after Mother’s Day — I confronted him.
I gave him three chances to tell the truth.
He didn’t.
And in that moment, I knew:
Staying any longer wasn’t survival — it was surrendering myself to a darkness God never called me to live in.
So I made the decision.
Not angrily.
Not loudly.
But clearly.
“As for me and my daughter, we will serve the Lord.”
(Joshua 24:15)
That meant we would serve Him in peace…
Serve Him in truth…
Serve Him in safety…
Serve Him while starting over.
3. The Hardest Season: Leaving While Still Living Under the Same Roof
I would love to say that after confrontation came freedom — but it didn’t. Not right away.
Madison and I stayed in the family home until September.
Then I moved again in March.
It was confusing.
It was exhausting.
It was lonely.
And worst of all… almost no one understood.
In fact, some church folks believed lies that were spread about me — including a rumor that I broke up with him while he was on a mission trip to Ukraine. That lie could have swallowed me whole if I hadn’t clung to Jesus with white-knuckled faith.
This was one of the most painful parts of the journey — not the divorce itself, but the misunderstanding. The misjudgment. The church hurt. The whispers. The stares. The people who took sides without ever hearing the full truth.
Friend, hear me:
People may abandon you, misunderstand you, or judge you — but GOD will never misjudge your heart.
Ever.
Psalm 34:18 became my anchor:
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
Some days, I felt like crushed was an understatement.
But God kept saving me — piece by piece.
4. A Turning Point I Didn’t Expect
One day things finally broke open.
A situation got so bad that the police were called. It shook me to my core — but it was the turning point I needed.
The Women’s Interval Home stepped in and offered support, clarity, and safety.
God used that moment — a moment I wish never happened — to finally free me from the emotional, spiritual, and psychological cage I’d been living in.
That day I realized:
I wasn’t crazy. I wasn’t overreacting. And I wasn’t alone.
God was leading me out of Egypt…
And even though I didn’t know where the Promised Land was, I knew I wasn’t going back.
5. Worship, Weeping & Wallpaper
After moving out, my healing became a full-time job.
I cried through worship music.
I journaled like my life depended on it.
I covered my walls in scripture and sticky notes.
I read Jeremiah 29:11 until it soaked into my bones:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord…
plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future.”
Hope?
Future?
At that time, I barely had the strength to make coffee in the morning — let alone imagine a beautiful future.
But God kept whispering:
“Daughter, what the enemy meant for evil, I will turn for good.”
And little by little…
Day by day…
Breath by breath…
He did.
6. Returning to Work: A New Beginning in an Unexpected Place
Shortly before the separation, I had taken my first full-time job post-cancer as a general manager at a Christian thrift store. It was simple — but healing.
I worshipped openly while sorting sweaters.
I prayed silently between customers.
I decorated displays like they were ministry moments.
I dressed up every single day — even on the days I cried in the shower.
Fashion became my joy therapy.
Creativity became my refuge.
The little old ladies who shopped there became my cheerleaders.
That job wasn’t a setback — it was a sanctuary.
It reminded me that even when life feels upside down, God places pockets of joy in the most unexpected corners.
Nehemiah 8:10 says:
“The joy of the Lord is your strength.”
Sometimes that joy comes through worship.
Sometimes through scripture.
And sometimes through a sparkly blouse and a thrift-store aisle.
7. Starting Over When You Feel Empty
Divorce feels like a death — but without the funeral.
You lose friends.
You lose your home.
You lose a version of yourself you once loved.
You lose the future you thought you were building.
But you gain something too:
You gain the chance to become who God always intended you to be.
There were days I felt like a failure.
Days I felt ashamed.
Days I thought no man could ever love me.
Days I wondered if I would ever feel whole again.
But God never stopped speaking life over me:
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
(Psalm 147:3)
He didn’t rush my healing.
He didn’t shame my tears.
He didn’t rush me into forgiveness — He led me into it gently.
And let me tell you…
Forgiveness is not saying what happened was okay.
Forgiveness is saying, “God, I trust YOU to handle it.”
8. Forgiving What Should Never Have Happened
I didn’t want bitterness to take root.
I didn’t want Madison to grow up with a bitter mother.
I didn’t want to give the enemy any more ground.
So I forgave.
Not all at once.
Not perfectly.
But faithfully.
I forgave the addiction.
I forgave the lies.
I forgave the betrayal.
I forgave the church people who believed the rumours.
I forgave myself for staying so long.
I forgave the version of me who swallowed pain to keep the peace.
Forgiveness was freedom — not agreement.
Scripture says:
“Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
(Colossians 3:13)
Sometimes forgiveness feels like lifting a boulder.
Other times, it’s a whisper.
But every act of forgiveness breaks a chain.
9. When God Rebuilds — He REBUILDS
People often ask me, “How did you find love again after everything you went through?”
And I smile — because Chapter Ten of my book is the whole glorious story.
But here’s what I’ll say right now:
When God rewrites your story,
He doesn’t use the leftover ink from your past —
He uses fresh ink,
new paper,
and a redeemed pen.
Starting over wasn’t the end of my life.
It was the beginning.
God brought Steven into my world like a miracle wrapped in steadiness and strength.
He loves Madison as his own.
He stands with me in ministry.
He helps do whatever is required for Limitless Ladies, without complaining.
He brings me coffee every Thursday morning, and has it waiting when I arrive.
He steadies me.
He protects our home.
He honours my calling.
He is proof that God never wastes pain — He transforms it.
10. For the Woman Reading This — Here’s What I Want You to Know
You can survive this.
You can heal from this.
You can start over.
You can laugh again.
You can dream again.
You can believe again.
You can live again.
Your story does not end in the valley —
it ends in victory.
Romans 8:31 declares:
“If God is for us, who can be against us?”
Not an addiction.
Not betrayal.
Not shame.
Not divorce.
Not judgment.
Not the past.
God is for you —
and He is rebuilding your life even now.
Hold on, sister.
Your “beauty from ashes” chapter is closer than you think.
Final Encouragement
If you’re walk