Have you ever tried to walk forward while looking backward? You’d trip, stumble, and probably run into something. Yet, that’s exactly what so many people do in life.
They’re holding on to past hurts, replaying painful memories, and dragging around suitcases of unforgiveness—as if they’ve got a lifetime baggage allowance.
Here’s the truth: Forgiveness is the key that unlocks your future. It’s like finally dropping that heavy suitcase and realizing you were never meant to carry it in the first place.
Yet, so many people refuse to let go. They hold onto resentment like it’s their security blanket—except instead of comfort, it’s suffocating them.
Jesus gave us the ultimate example of forgiveness. Hanging on the cross, after being mocked, beaten, and betrayed, He still said:
“Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34)
If Jesus could forgive the very ones who crucified Him, what excuse do we have?
The Poison of Unforgiveness
Unforgiveness is sneaky. It starts as a little bitterness—just a tiny grudge, nothing major. But before you know it, it’s taking up space in your heart, seeping into your thoughts, and shaping your entire outlook on life.
It’s like drinking poison and expecting the other person to suffer. Spoiler alert: They’re out there living their best life while you’re still simmering.
I’ve seen how unforgiveness can turn a joyful person into a walking storm cloud. It affects your peace, your relationships, and even your health. Studies have shown that holding onto bitterness can lead to stress, anxiety, and even physical sickness.
But here’s the good news—you don’t have to stay stuck.
My Own Journey to Forgiveness
I know what it’s like to be deeply hurt. I’ve walked through rejection, betrayal, and wounds that ran so deep, they felt impossible to heal.
One of the hardest things to come to terms with wasn’t something I did—it was what was done to me.
For years, I carried the weight of circumstances I never chose. It wasn’t my fault, yet I felt the effects of someone else’s brokenness. My ex-husband’s addiction to pornography was a battle I didn’t ask for, but it became a storm that raged through my life.
I wrestled with thoughts like, “Why did this happen to me? Could I have done something different? How do I move forward when I didn’t cause this, yet I’m left with the damage?”
And then God whispered to my heart:
“Daughter, I have already made a way for you to heal. But you have to let go.”
Forgiveness wasn’t about excusing what happened. It wasn’t about pretending the pain didn’t exist. It was about choosing freedom over bitterness.
The Healing Power of Christian Forgiveness
Forgiveness is not:
- Saying what happened was okay
- Acting like you weren’t hurt
- Giving people permission to hurt you again
Forgiveness is:
- Releasing the offense so it no longer controls you
- Trusting God to handle justice
- Choosing peace over resentment
Jesus made it clear in Matthew 6:14-15:
“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
That’s not just a gentle suggestion—it’s a direct command.
Why?
Because God knows that unforgiveness keeps us chained to the past.
The moment I chose to forgive—not just my ex-husband, but also the people who judged me, misunderstood me, and even the ones who walked away—was the moment I stepped into healing.
5 Keys to Walking in Forgiveness
So how do you actually do it? How do you release something that hurt you so deeply?
Here’s what worked for me:
1. Make the Decision to Forgive
Forgiveness isn’t a feeling. If you wait until you feel ready, you’ll be waiting forever. It’s a choice you make in obedience to God.
Say it out loud if you have to: “Lord, I choose to forgive ____. I release them to You. I refuse to carry this anymore.”
2. Pray for the Person Who Hurt You
Oh, I know—this one is hard. But Jesus said in Luke 6:27-28:
“Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.”
When I first started praying for those who hurt me, it felt fake. But over time, my heart softened. Prayer shifts things—it changes you from the inside out.
3. Forgive Yourself
Sometimes, the hardest person to forgive is you. Maybe you feel like you should have seen the red flags. Maybe you blame yourself for staying too long, for trusting too much, or for not speaking up sooner.
But God’s grace covers it all. If He has forgiven you, who are you to say otherwise?
“As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.” (Psalm 103:12)
Stop punishing yourself. Jesus already paid the price.
4. Set Healthy Boundaries
Forgiving someone doesn’t mean letting them keep hurting you. It’s okay to love from a distance. Jesus forgave, but He also walked away from people who weren’t safe.
Forgiveness brings freedom, but boundaries bring protection.
5. Let Go and Let God
At the end of the day, forgiveness is about trusting God to be the Judge. He sees what happened. He knows your pain. And He will bring justice in His perfect timing.
The Freedom That Comes With Forgiveness
The moment you forgive, it’s like stepping out of a dark, stuffy room into the fresh air. It’s lightness. It’s joy. It’s peace.
Forgiveness isn’t just about the other person—it’s about YOU.
I often tell my daughter Madison, “Hurt people hurt people.”
Many times, people lash out because they’re carrying their own wounds. But here’s the flip side—healed people heal people.
When you walk in forgiveness, you don’t just free yourself—you bring freedom to those around you. You shift atmospheres. You become the kind of person who walks into a room and changes the whole vibe because your spirit is light, not heavy with bitterness.
God has an incredible future waiting for you. But you can’t step into it if you’re still chained to the past.
So today, unlock the door with forgiveness.
Let go. Breathe. Trust God.
Your future is so much brighter without the baggage.